VOXX COLUMN MAY 2016

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Toddler Turrets



Surviving baffles me. People make it through tough times and stand for something incredible. I look up to those people. I admire them. They smile, laugh and fight.

Then there is me. Who saw an owl flying in the moonlight, stroked a wallaby for the first time and saw two shooting stars… I’m tearing up like I’m about to have a nervous breakdown…

I’m wondering how long it will be before my sniffles feel the effects of toddler tantrums, and when they will rub off on me. Will it really be that long until I join my son on the floor screaming down the beans isle?


Security will have me arrested for disruption! I will explain what a bad influence my son is. Before attempting to continue my shopping as if nothing had occurred… the copycat replica of my own toddler’s behaviour. My tears will turn into smiles and I will shout “no!” at every stranger that as much as glances my way. I will call it “toddler turrets” when questioned by officers. No doubt I will probably fail to mention something that I will later rely on in court.

That is how crazy my life would be if I was Diego. This month he has hit the terrible two’s, without even turning two. It was goodbye to the bedtime routine, fantastic eating habits and lovable nature. Strangely I was expected to react positively when smacked in the face during my weekly shop. Due to said negative reaction Nana is flavour of the month.

I’m assuming it’s all non-stop crazy from here. Filled to the brim with beautiful moments, new words and wine. Lots of wine. I’m ready to tuck superman into bed, run a bath, take the harder days one at a time and pour another glass.



Boneata Bell

Word Count: 300

As seen in VOXX Magazine.



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